Mennonite Woman Selects Taylor Swift to Take Home Best Picture at the Grammy’s Tonight


The stars are arriving in Hollywood tonight for the 96th annual Grammy Awards. For Mrs. Martens of Saskatoon, this means she’ll be frantically trying to fill out her ballot.

“It’s hard to pick the winners,” said Mrs. Martens, “but I’m certain Taylor Swift will sweep the awards like she always does.”

Also on Mrs. Martens’ ballot is The Crown for Best Hip Hop Album and Beyoncé for Best Cinematography.

“I also rooting for Hamilton to win Artist of the Year,” said Mrs. Martens. “If not Hamilton, then I’m certain it will go to the Beverly Hill Billies.”

Martens says she has been watching the Grammy’s for decades and just loves to see all the winners.

“I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Mrs. Martens. “Maybe some of the big stars like Katherine Hepburn and Frank Sinatra will show up.”

Martens reportedly won first prize, since everyone else at the party was busy watching curling.

Mennonite Man Relieved to be Going Back to Celebrating Men for the Next 364 Days
Mennonite Woman Feeds Entire Family for a Week on One Little Caesars Pizza