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Month: April 2026

Unger & Thirst

King Charles: “White House Dinner Not as Delicious as the Vereniki I Had in Steinbach Back in 1970”

April 30, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC King Charles III was treated to a gourmet state dinner at the White House this week, but the monarch said it failed in comparison to the most memorable meal of his life. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Cuauhtémoc Selected as 2026 World Cup Host City

April 29, 2026 Andrew

CUAUHTEMOC, CHIHUAHUA, MEXICO The 2026 World Cup host cities have been announced and surprisingly ever single one of them is located in a place that’ll be real convenient for Mennonite audiences. Among the choices are […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Takes Home Top Prize at Annual ‘Humility Awards’

April 27, 2026 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The competition was fierce at the annual Mennonite Humility Awards this year, but, in the end, Mr. Samuel Janzen, 73, of Wichita was awarded the ‘Most Humble Person in Human History’ trophy. “Woohoo! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Implements Needle Exchange Program for Knitting-Addicted Grandmas

April 25, 2026 Andrew

BIRD-IN-HAND, PA The small Mennonite town of Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania has become the first community in the nation to introduce a knitting needle exchange program for local grandmas. Starting this January, local knitters will be able […]

Unger & Thirst

Morden Man Sets Up Corn Stand Early This Year

April 24, 2026 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Area man Paul Goertzen has decided he’s going to beat everyone else to the punch this year and put up his corn stand at the end of April. “Come get your sweet delicious […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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