Mennonite Man Hospitalized After Eating Too Far Into the Green Part

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO

Mr. Wiebe had to be rushed to the hospital in Cuauhtemoc this week after he failed to heed the warnings of all those around him and ate well into the green part.

“Nah, that ola Wiebe is naver listening. I told him, ‘Kjnels watch yourself’, but he just doesn’t listen,” said his cousin Jake. “You’ve gotta leave a bit of red on there yet.”

Ola Kjnels Wiebe explained that he really likes the green part and doesn’t see why it needs to be thrown to the pigs.

“Doesn’t the Biebel say ‘don’t throw pearls to swine’?” said Mr. Wiebe. “So, why toss out the very bast part of the watermelon yet!”

Kjnels Wiebe is currently having his stomach pumped at the hospital there in Cuauhtemoc, but is already saying it was all worth it.

“You can’t live your life in fear,” said Ola Kjnels Wiebe. “Sometimes you’ve gotta live a little!”

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