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winter

The Daily Bonnet

“Oba, it’s Getting Dark, Henry”: Manitoba Couple Always in Bed by 4:30 this Time of Year

December 28, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Retired couple Henry and Barb Thiessen of North Kildonan are usually hitting the hay a little after 4 pm these days or just as soon as it gets dark. “We had a couple […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year

October 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON For the first time in almost a hundred years, millions of Canadians will be forced to suffer through one of their own winters. “Diewel, if I had known it was this bad, I’d […]

Unger Suspicion

Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

September 23, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by […]

The Daily Bonnet

Unseasonable Warmth Has Mennonites Flocking to the Pits

January 26, 2020 Andrew

HOCHSTEIN, MB As temperatures have risen well above freezing this week, Mennonites across southern Manitoba have been flocking to the local gravel pits for a swim. “Kjnels, don’t forget the zoat!” yelled Jakob Krahn, as […]

Unger Suspicion

Harry and Meghan to Winter in Regina

January 10, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK Harry and Meghan have decided to take a step back from royal duties and live a normal life on the Canadian Prairies. “We plan to winter in Regina,” said Harry. “We wanted to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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