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winter

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Excommunicated for Living in Temperate Climate

June 2, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Unger and the rest of his family has been sentenced to ten years shovelling the church parking lot after it was discovered they spent the entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Rebrands Spring Break as ‘Winter Break Part 2’

March 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In an effort to more accurately reflect the realities of the situation, the Manitoba government has decided to rebrand Spring Break 2022 as ‘Winter Break Part 2.’ Area students were super excited about […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Intends to Snowmobile Well Into June This Year

March 9, 2022 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Al Kehler, 61, is excited for the 2022 snowmobile season and is full expecting the trails to be groomed and perfect for sledding until at least mid-June. “Ahh, finally a good […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

Unger Games

Winter Olympics Come and Go Without a Single Person Noticing

February 27, 2022 Andrew

BEIJING, CHINA According to sources there was a winter Olympics earlier this month, but not a single person on the face of the planet was aware of it. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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