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weather

The Daily Bonnet

Upcoming Hurricanes To Be Given Mennonite Names

September 6, 2017 Andrew

Whether suffering through blizzards in Canada or roasting in the Paraguayan Chaco, Mennonites are well-known for their love of extreme weather. As a result, the World Meteorological Association is greatly concerned about the number of […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Kleefeld Residents to Spend the Next Six Months Picking Rocks

May 29, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Now that winter is officially over, residents of Kleefeld, Manitoba are back in their fields picking rocks in full force, an activity that is expected to last until the snow flies again this […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Claims ‘Prophetic Gift’ After Predicting Rain this May Long Weekend

May 21, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local man Andrew R. Penner has declared himself a prophet of God after he accurately predicted there would be heavy rain this Victoria Day long weekend. “See, look, I told you so,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Car Air Conditioner to Face Off Against Heated Seat in Epic Battle this April

April 20, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The Hieberts are a lovely couple with a happy marriage…or so they thought. Since the beginning of April the Mitchell area couple have been engaged in an epic struggle for temperature control during recent […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Man Prepares Ark for Annual Spring Thaw

March 16, 2017 Andrew

ST. CRISTOPHE, MB Local man Dale B. Unrau, 52, is busy getting his ark into tip-top shape for the annual spring melt. As temperatures rise, so does the risk of turning southern Manitoba into a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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