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Unger Suspicion

Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’

March 5, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The discovery of a single solitary snowflake in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby this Monday, forced schools across the region to shut down. The sighting was reported early Monday morning and immediately caused […]

The Daily Bonnet

More than a Dozen Friesens Found Frozen in Friedensruh

February 27, 2018 Andrew

FRIEDENSRUH, MB Well, it finally happened! The Friesens of Friedensruh were found frozen just outside the family farm this Friday. According to forensics, the Friesens have been frozen since Fall, but thanks to rising temperatures […]

Unger Suspicion

An Exclusive Interview with the Notorious ‘Alberta Clipper’

February 12, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB After years of secrecy, the infamous ‘Alberta Clipper’ has agreed to this exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet. We met Mr. Friesen in his home in Taber to ask him about why he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bump of Packed Down Snow at the End of Mr. Penner’s Driveway Declared Manitoba’s Highest Peak

February 7, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A one foot tall mound of packed down snow on Mr. Penner’s driveway has been officially declared the tallest mountain in Manitoba. “Move over Baldy Mountain, my driveway is king now!” said a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens of Mennonite Women Left Homeless After Tornado Strikes MCC Store

January 18, 2018 Andrew

KJRIESELSTORM, KS More than thirty Mennonite women have been left without any place to go after a tornado ripped through the heart of a local MCC Thrift Store yesterday afternoon. “They’re here all the time. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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