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Unger Suspicion

Fossil Discovered in Southern Manitoba

November 12, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A rare fossil was discovered in the hands of a Steinbach real estate agent this past week. A team of experts analyzed the finding, saying it was something called a “Blackberry,” whatever that […]

Unger Suspicion

Millennial Receives Medical Attention to Extract Smartphone from Hand

November 8, 2017 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA 23-year-old Eastern Mennonite University student Cara Witmer underwent emergency surgery on Monday to remove an iPhone 6s, which had been lodged in her left hand since late 2015. “It was touch and go […]

Unger Conviction

Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church

September 24, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC While most jurisdictions have enacted legislation to curb distracted driving, the problem of texting and walking still remains. The dangers of such a practice became all too real for area woman Alana Foster, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Uses Google Earth to Spy on Neighbours

August 31, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENGART, MB Mrs. Kleinsasser of the Blumengart area has discovered a fancy new tool to find out all the latest news about the neighbours: Google Earth. Ever since being shown the online tool by her […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Caught Listening In On Party Line

July 22, 2017 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB There was a prolonged awkward moment at the church picnic on Sunday after Mrs. Wiebe spoke too liberally about the information she had uncovered while listening in on the party line that connected […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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