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The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonite Couple Still Fast-Forwards Through Sex Scenes

December 9, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. and Mrs. Peter and Nettie Dyck of Regina have been in the habit of fast-forwarding through sex scenes in movies since their children were young. The kids have long since grown up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Holdeman Radio Station Plays Nothing but Static

December 8, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Radio listeners in southern Manitoba have a new option on the dial after a young entrepreneur decided to launch a station dedicated to playing all the best Holdeman hits! CJHLDM 108.3 FM promises […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Bans Google Chrome

November 29, 2017 Andrew

STRASBURG, PA The leadership at South Strasburg EMB passed a resolution this week banning the use of the Google Chrome web browser. Church members caught using Google Chrome will be forced to paint their computer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Rents Colour TV to Watch Grey Cup

November 26, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Mr. Peter W. Goossen of Linden, Alberta has decided to splurge on the rental of a huge 22 inch colour television to enjoy the Grey Cup this afternoon with his family. “We’re all […]

Unger Suspicion

Fossil Discovered in Southern Manitoba

November 12, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A rare fossil was discovered in the hands of a Steinbach real estate agent this past week. A team of experts analyzed the finding, saying it was something called a “Blackberry,” whatever that […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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