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summer

Unger & Thirst

‘Summer McIntosh Borscht’: Mennonites Rename Soup in Honour of Swimmer

August 1, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE With two golds and a silver so far at the 2024 games, Summer McIntosh has captured the hearts of the nation, including the Canadian Mennonite population who have renamed a popular borscht after […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Divorce After Conflict Over Air Conditioner Temperature

July 22, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eight years of wedded bliss is all over for the Epps of North Kildonan this week, after an apparent marriage-ending fight over the AC temperature. “She wanted it at 23, while I prefer […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Woman to Spend Entire Summer Posting Pictures of Her Feet

July 14, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB In an effort to show that she is truly relaxed and enjoying the season, area woman Ruth Wiens, 47, is planning to post pictures of her feet and/or legs every evening for the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Saves Millions by Pickling the Watermelon Rinds

July 3, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB The Driedgers of Rosetown have found a lucrative new way to save a bit of money – pickling their watermelon rinds. “With the amount my Stanley eats each years, we could be talking […]

Unger Games

Florida Panthers Give Out Free Slurpees Made from Game-Used Ice

June 25, 2024 Andrew

MIAMI, FL In order to celebrate their first Stanley Cup victory since the team arrived in Miami, the Florida Panthers have scooped up all the ice from Game 7 and turned it into refreshing 7-11 […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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