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summer

Unger Games

Florida Panthers Give Out Free Slurpees Made from Game-Used Ice

June 25, 2024 Andrew

MIAMI, FL In order to celebrate their first Stanley Cup victory since the team arrived in Miami, the Florida Panthers have scooped up all the ice from Game 7 and turned it into refreshing 7-11 […]

Unger Games

Golf Course Features Extra Big Holes to Make it Easier on New Golfers

June 21, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The new Mitchell Links is reaching out to a new generation of golfers by featuring “holes so big even your Uncle Abe won’t miss it.” The course holes have been expanded and now […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Shocked to Experience an Actual Fall this Year

October 22, 2023 Andrew

BRANDON, MB The province of Manitoba has been in a state of complete shock for the past month as, for some strange reason, winter didn’t follow immediately after summer this year. “Orange leaves, temperate weather? […]

Unger & Thirst

Abbotsford Family Subsists All Summer on Blackberries Picked By the Side of the Road

July 28, 2023 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Neufelds of Abbotsford have been eating nothing but wild blackberries from the side of the road this entire summer and Earl is getting a little cranky at the lack of variety. “Ugh, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Features First Air Conditioned Sanctuary in Town

July 25, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of eager worshippers flocked to South Elmwood Mennonite Church this Sunday to experience their first ever summer service without pit stains. “Ahhh, this is the life,” said new parishioner Jack Baerg, who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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