The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

Month: July 2024

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Medals in Synchronized Baptisms

July 31, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was a historic moment for the Canadian Olympic team this week as Rylan Wiens and diving partner Nathan Zsombor-Murray won a bronze medal. The moment did not go unnoticed by the folks […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Shocked as Announcers Pronounce ‘Loeppky’ Correctly

July 30, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE It was the most shocking moment in Eric Loeppky’s storied volleyball career, as announcers at the 2024 Olympics actually said his last name right. “It was no trouble growing up in Steinbach,” said […]

Unger Games

Organizers Apologize For Parody of Rembrandt Mennonite Painting During Olympic Opening Ceremony

July 29, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE An alleged mockery of the most sacred painting in the Mennonite art canon has come under fire this week, calling for boycotts of the Olympic games by various Mennonite groups. The painting in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Gets All Her News From The Unger Review

July 28, 2024 Andrew

MORDEN, MB “I don’t even know what’s happening until I see it in The Unger Review,” said Mrs. Brandt of Morden. “It’s basically the only news site these days without a paywall.” Paywalls, coupled with […]

Unger Games

Olympics Add 20 New Swimming Categories to Artificially Boost Michael Phelps’ Medal Count

July 27, 2024 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE Concerned that his status as “all-time Olympic medal winner” might fall someday, American officials have successfully petitioned the International Olympic Committee to add upwards of twenty new swimming categories. “With these new additions, […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 6 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Medium Salsa Proves Far Too Spicy for Mennonite Man
    August 23, 2021
  • Mennonite Couple Honour Dad by Making Him Come Over and Fix Stuff
    June 21, 2020
  • Archaeologists Uncover ‘Mennonite Faspa’ Frozen in Pompeii Ash
    December 29, 2020
  • Local Bible School Offers Degree in Inspirational Meme Creation
    July 22, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Finds Romance in the Sausage Aisle at Zehrs
    July 29, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved