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summer

Unger Suspicion

Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos

August 4, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After temperatures soared to five or ten degrees above freezing this August, igloos have melted across Canada, leaving desperate parka-clad Canadians with no choice but to descend on the United States in large […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Spends Entire Summer Sitting in Lawn Chair on Front Lawn Wearing Nothing but Gitch

July 14, 2018 Andrew

SCHANZENBERGENFELD, MB Peter Dueck, 72, of Schanzenbergenfeld has spent all summer, wearing nothing but a pair of white briefs, and sitting in his front lawn staring at his neighbours. In that time, Dueck has consumed […]

Unger Suspicion

Grand Beach Declared ‘Urine Free Zone’

July 7, 2018 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Urinating at Manitoba’s most popular Lake Winnipeg beach this summer will result in stiff penalties thanks to a new law. Grand Beach is now officially ‘Urine Free,’ although smoking and drinking is […]

Unger Conviction

Churches Demand All National Parks Be Turned Into Bible Camps

January 20, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Churches across Canada have been up in arms and are demanding that the federal government fund “all proselytizing efforts” with tax-payer’s money. An online petition sponsored by Life Site News has demanded that […]

Unger Suspicion

Under New Trudeau Law, All Christian Summer Camps to Be Turned into “Reeducation Camps”

January 19, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In order to address the “unacceptable diversity of opinions on social issues” in Canada, the Trudeau government has recently passed a law requiring all Bible camps to be shut down and re-opened as […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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