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summer

Unger Suspicion

Manitobans Required to Lounge Around in Towels and Pretend the Whole Province is One Big Sauna

July 22, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Due to a recent heat wave, the entire province of Manitoba has been declared one massive sauna and all residents are being asked to strip down to the bare essentials and laze about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here

June 23, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Despite soaring temperatures, Mrs. Kroeker of Winkler is under the impression that opening a few windows should do the trick. “Air conditioning? Waut de hunt!” exclaimed Mrs. Kroeker. “In my day we didn’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Excommunicated for Living in Temperate Climate

June 2, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Unger and the rest of his family has been sentenced to ten years shovelling the church parking lot after it was discovered they spent the entire winter in Phoenix, Arizona […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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