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summer

Unger Games

Stanley Cup Playoffs to be Extended Well into July Next Year

June 30, 2025 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Hockey has long been designated a cold weather sport, but not so in the Bettman era, where desert cities are given franchises and the Stanley Cup final stretches well into spring. “Next […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Fight Epidemic of Mennonite Men Wearing Shorts in Church

June 1, 2025 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After half the men in the congregation showed up in shorts this past Sunday, Pastor Carl is now enforcing the church’s long standing no shorts rule. “It’s been on the books for decades, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hottest Ever September in Small Mennonite Town of Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg

October 5, 2024 Andrew

Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg, MB The weather station in Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg recorded the hottest September it the long and illustrious climate history of Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg. “We haven’t seen anything like this since our ancestors first moved to Schanzenhimmelsgruenfeldthalberg almost 150 […]

Unger Suspicion

Movie Set in Winnipeg Accidentally Films in Summer

October 2, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeg, Manitoba has been the setting of dozens of much-beloved indie films over the decades from Guy Maddin’s My Winnipeg and The Saddest Music in the World to Matthew Rankin’s Universal Language and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family Consumes One Last Watermelon Before Switching to Pumpkin for the Next 8 Months

September 28, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Brandts of Winkler gathered at the Bethel Heritage Park this weekend to share the very last watermelon and Papsi of the season before they consume nothing but pumpkins for the next eight […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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