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steinbach

The Daily Bonnet

City of Winkler to Stage Massive Publicity Stunt to Compete With Steinbach

July 23, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Tired of all the national media attention that Steinbach has been receiving lately, the City of Winkler is seeking to garner some publicity of their own and is consulting the public for ideas. “We […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Winnipegers Visit Steinbach and Decide ‘It Doesn’t Suck’

July 22, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After visiting Steinbach for the first time during this year’s Summer in the City and Steinbach Pride events, tens of thousands of Winnipegers have decided it’s “a pretty nice place” and are planning to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Editorial: Should Steinbach Separate From Canada?

June 30, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB I’ve taken a break from scrolling Tinder while my wife is at Superstore to talk to you about values. Yes, values. I mean the traditional Mennonite values of free-market ‘every man for himself’ capitalism, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Every Single Street in Steinbach to Go Under Construction Simultaneously…and Reverted to Gravel

June 22, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Construction crews are out in force in Steinbach, stripping the pavement from every single street in town at the very same time. “Once we’ve stripped the concrete off,” explained crew leader Paul Froese, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Group Proposes to Move Steinbach’s Summer Festival to the Very Coldest Day of the Year

June 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A small group of concerned Steinbach citizens has proposed to move next year’s Summer in the City Festival to the dead of winter. “I’m just not sure we should be out there when the weather […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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