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steinbach

Unger Suspicion

Conspiracy Nut Launches Rocket to Prove Steinbach is Flat

December 4, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Dwight P. Funk, president of the Flat Steinbach Society, is planning a manned-mission to space in order to “prove once and for all that Steinbach is flat.” So far he has raised more […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach to Stretch Out Along Highway 12

August 7, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Eager to reach neighbouring Ste. Anne before the end of the decade, the City of Steinbach has decided to relocate all existing houses, businesses, and churches to stretch out for miles along Highway […]

The Daily Bonnet

Census: Steinbach Population to Surpass Winnipeg by 2217

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The recent Canadian census has sparked a rivalry between the growing Mennonite town of Steinbach and its (currently) much larger provincial capital. If current rates of growth continue, Steinbach, already the third-largest community in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Treble Teens Teach ‘Step-touch’ to New Generation of Mennonites

January 23, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For more than three decades, from the 60s through the 80s, youth choir the Treble Teens were Steinbach’s most famous export, travelling across the globe with their beautiful voices and almost-dancing. Forbidden by the community […]

The Daily Bonnet

Niverville to Build $24 Million Arts Centre Just to Prove They’re Better Than Steinbach

December 20, 2016 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB There has long been a friendly rivalry between the small but growing town of Niverville, Manitoba and it’s larger Mennonite neighbour Steinbach. Now that rivalry has been taken to new heights as Niverville […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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