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spitting

Unger Conviction

Trudeau to Mennonite Pastors: ‘Stop Speaking So Moistly’

April 8, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Finally somebody said it. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters today what those of us in the first few rows at church have always been thinking, “Dear Pastor Dave, please stop speaking […]

Unger & Thirst

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonite people excel in many fields, not least of which is our unrivalled ability to spit. At a recent competition in Winkler, Mennonite horkers and spitters came out on top in nearly every […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

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More from the unger review

  • Mexican Mennonite Purchases Snowmobile, Prays for White Christmas
    December 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Church Hands Out Fidget Spinners to Keep People Alert During Boring Sermon
    June 4, 2017
  • 9 Pound Mennonite Baby Miraculously Born Three Months Premature
    August 4, 2016
  • Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba
    March 6, 2017
  • Completely Predictable Mennonite Couple Places Garbage Can Under the Sink
    January 5, 2019

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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