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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Storms Out of Jazz Club, Claiming “Far Too Much Sax”

November 16, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC Local man Peter Harder, 67, was so disgusted with a jazz performance in Vancouver this weekend that he stood up right in the middle of ‘St. Thomas’ and stormed out in a huff. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Boy Wears MCC Peace Button to Pick Up Mennonite Girls

November 10, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local college student Jesse Linklater sported one of those “To Remember is to Work for Peace” buttons all around the Canadian Mennonite University campus this week in an attempt to attract the attention […]

Unger Conviction

Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!

September 20, 2017 Andrew

BY: MISS SAMANTHA YODER The dating game is tough these days. A lot of my girlfriends have resorted to going online to find a suitable partner, but I maintain that you can never beat your […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Claims to be Illegitimate Son of Prince Charles, Rightful Heir to the Throne

September 12, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK In an historic trial that could change the landscape of the British monarchy, the Supreme Court of England is set to rule this week on whether a 46-year-old Mennonite farmer from rural Manitoba […]

The Daily Bonnet

7 Signs that Mennonite Man is Just Not that Into You

August 28, 2017 Andrew

Ladies are always looking to hook up with an eligible Mennonite man. There’s just something about the hands of a man who catches chickens for a living that’s simply irresistible to a lot of gals. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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