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sex

Unger Suspicion

Frat Boys Disappointed with Visit to Intercourse, Pennsylvania

August 17, 2017 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Dozens of lecherous Pennsylvania frat boys are upset and considering litigation after a visit to the small Amish town of Intercourse did not go as expected. “I truly feel like we were misled,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Woman Comes Home and Catches Husband on Pinterest

August 7, 2017 Andrew

WEST KILDONAN, MB Earlier today, area woman Susan Dueck was shocked and horrified to discover her husband using Pinterest when she returned home early from a shopping trip. “Donald, just what are you doing?!” exclaimed Dueck. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrates 40 Years of Marriage by Getting Separate Beds

July 24, 2017 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local couple Dirk and Maria Unrau have decided to commemorate their 40th wedding anniversary by replacing their Queen size bed with two double beds. “It was time I got a good night’s sleep […]

The Daily Bonnet

New Program Seeks to End Promiscuity at Old Folks Home

July 19, 2017 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Over the past few years, experts have witnessed a dramatic rise in wild and licentious behaviour among our Mennonite seniors. In order to address this problem, which some have blamed on social media, Linda […]

The Daily Bonnet

Erotic Schekjbenjel Novel Tops NY Times Bestseller List

July 5, 2017 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY In what is sure to spur on a wave of imitators, famed erotic novelist Darlene Steele has recently released her first Schekjbenjel romance book. The novel entitled Bedtime in Blumenort debuted at number one on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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