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plautdietsch

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Vocabulary Reduced to ‘Once’, ‘Yet’, and ‘Such’

August 5, 2017 Andrew

YARROW, BC There was a time when George Baerg’s vocabulary stretched to more than thirty words and an occasional ethusiastic ‘oba!’ These days, however, Mr. Baerg, now retired and extra grumpy, has settled on ‘once’, ‘yet’, and […]

Unger & Thirst

Pepsi-Cola to Rebrand in Mennonite Country

August 1, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Due to slumping sales, Pepsi-Cola is undergoing a name and logo change in certain markets such as the Pembina Valley, Fraser Valley, Chihuahua and the Paraguayan Chaco. The cola will now officially be known […]

The Daily Bonnet

High German Mennonite Clings Desperately to False Sense of Superiority Over Low German Mennonite

June 28, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENBACH, SK Thanks to a complete accident of birth, Miss Annie B. Epp of Blumenbach was born to a High German speaking family. For some reason, Epp, a sad and delusional woman, believes that this linguistic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Winnipeg Mayor to Change the City Name to ‘Vanapag’

March 20, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Mennonites from across the city surrounded Winnipeg City Hall on Friday demanding that Mayor Bowman change the name of the city to Vanapag. “We’re here today to express our desire to […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Glossary of Mennonite Profanity

January 8, 2017 Andrew

Perhaps the most useful words and phrases to know in any language are those that express anger, excitement, or grief. For your convenience, here is a helpful list of Plautdietsch curse words and insults, along […]

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