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plautdietsch

The Daily Bonnet

New Census Data Identifies ‘English mixed with Plautdietsch and a bit of regular German mixed in yet’ as Most Popular Language in Winkler

September 7, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Recently released figures from Stats Canada show that English with a sprinkling of Low and High German is the most common mother tongue in the RM of Winkler yet once. “Oh, jauma, they […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Accidentally Gives Fred Penner Low German Word

May 12, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Truckers Now Honking in Fluent Plautdietsch

February 9, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Linguists at the University of Southern La Crete have finally uncovered the hidden language behind the incessant honking of horns heard in cities across Canada: Low German. “I know it may sounds like […]

Unger Suspicion

Evander Kane Caught with Fake Low German Vaccine Sticker

October 20, 2021 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Troubled San Jose Sharks forward Evander Kane is facing suspension this week after being caught with a totally fake Plautdietsch vaccine sticker. “I picked it up in Fresno,” said Kane in his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Launches New App WautDeSchissjat

October 4, 2021 Andrew

CAMPO 6, MEXICO Mennonite technology guru Lina Wiebe, 37, of Campo 6 has just launched a brand new social media app called WautDeSchissjat. “It’s the bast app from Chihuahua City to Cuauhtemoc and avery place in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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