The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

plautdietsch

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Child Suspended for Speaking Low German at Recess

August 28, 2026 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area child Dietrich Bergmann was suspended for eight days for uttering the phrase “Waut de schissjat” during a rousing circle game at recess this afternoon. “We have to teach these youngsters a lesson,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

August 24, 2026 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Sick and tired to accidentally buying puffed wheat when what they wanted was Froot Loops, Mennonites in Canada are demanding that Low German be added to cereal boxes across the country. “Plus, it’ll […]

The Daily Bonnet

Word Bird Gives Fred Penner Plautdietsch Word

January 15, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Producers were scrambling on the set of Fred Penner’s Place this week after the beloved children’s entertainer was given the Low German word “gnurpel” by the Word Bird. “Waut de schissjat is going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Carney Called Out for Utilizing ‘Plaudietsch’ Spelling

December 17, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It’s the biggest scandal to hit the Carney government yet – spelling. In this case, Prime Minister Mark Carney sent out several memos in which he spelled everything in Plautdietsch. “And the worst […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Praises Mennonite Man’s “Good Plautdietsch”

July 12, 2025 Andrew

CAMPO 69, MEXICO After a trip to Chihuahua this past week to negotiate a trade deal for Takis and Peter Wall’s delicious disco, US President Donald Trump praised local man Guillermo Kehler for his “good […]

Posts pagination

1 2 … 15 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Rapture Occurs Just Before Newlyweds Have a Chance to Consummate the Marriage
    September 10, 2016
  • Southeast Event Centre Introduces New Slogan: Fuelled by Formavorscht
    January 11, 2025
  • Southern Baptists Expel Rick Warren for Floral-Patterned Shirt and Lack of Necktie
    June 18, 2023
  • Puerto Vallarta to Be Renamed ‘Little Winkler’
    January 15, 2019
  • Man Who Trashed Entire Neighbourhood When the Canucks Lost Really Upset About a Few Statues Coming Down
    July 8, 2021

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved