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The Daily Bonnet

A List of Prominent Mennonites on Leaked Convoy Donor List

February 20, 2022 Andrew

Thanks to a mysterious package left in the church mailbox this morning, The Daily Bonnet has obtained a complete list of convoy donors and, surprise surprise, there are a few prominent Mennos on the list. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Alberta Mennonites Vote to Keep Daylight Savings

October 19, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There has been considerable discussion over the past few years about the possibility of getting rid of Daily Savings time. While most are in favour of doing away with it, a strong […]

Unger Suspicion

Zondervan Releases New ‘Greatest Hits’ Bible

September 30, 2021 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN HarperCollins-owned “Christian” publisher Zondervan has recently released a totally awesome new Bible that skips all the boring parts and just includes the stuff that people actually read today. “People don’t have time […]

Unger Suspicion

Senate Approves $1 Trillion Infrastructure Bill to Pave Church Parking Lots

August 14, 2021 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The United States senate has just approved a massive one trillion dollar infrastructure bill that will be allocated to address the country’s most pressing need: church parking lots. “When we look at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Convinced He Has a 50% Chance of Winning 50/50 Draw

August 7, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Goossen was at a slo-pitch tournament in Winnipeg this week when he decided to give up his lifelong abstention from gambling and buy a 50/50 ticket. “I know I’m not supposed to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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