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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas

June 14, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Epp was filling her cart to the brim with dented cans and bruised bananas this week, hoping that she could get a huge discount when she brought them to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender

June 10, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A referendum held in the southern Manitoba town of Altona this week resulted in a 92% vote in favour of adopting knackzoat as legal tender. “Currently we’ve set the exchange rate at one […]

Unger Suspicion

Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer

April 25, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government just announced a record-setting deficit of nearly 400 billion dollars for the year 2020, which has people wondering just where they’re going to come up with the money. The answer, […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Quits Bitcoin and Puts All His Money into Sheets of Plywood

April 6, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Having almost doubled his money with Bitcoin over the past year, amateur investor Allan Driedger, 41, of Saskatoon is planning to throw it all in the hottest market around: sheets of plywood. “My […]

Unger Suspicion

The GameStop Frenzy Explained for Mennonites (Using an Easy to Understand Zoat Analogy)

February 1, 2021 Andrew

Everybody’s been talking about GameStop this and GameStop that. Shorting stocks and hedge funds. And Reddit? Oba! But what does it all mean yet? Well thankfully we’ve got Kjnels Reima, Kleine Gemeinde church treasurer, to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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