The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

knackzoat

Unger & Thirst

Knackzoat Found in Last Summer’s Jean Shorts “Still Perfectly Edible” Says Local Man

May 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local man Ernie Toews, 75, considered himself the “luckiest man in Altona” this past Saturday after he slid into a pair of old cut-off jean shorts that he hadn’t worn since last summer […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Rank Among the World’s Best Spitters

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mennonite people excel in many fields, not least of which is our unrivalled ability to spit. At a recent competition in Winkler, Mennonite horkers and spitters came out on top in nearly every […]

Unger & Thirst

Blue Jays Apologize After Mennonite Man Pelts Outfielder With Knackzoat

October 7, 2016 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Toronto Blue Jays received a little help from the stands on Tuesday, as a passionate Mennonite fan continued to pelt Baltimore Orioles outfielders with knackzoat throughout the crucial Wild Card playoff game. […]

Unger & Thirst

Archaeologists Excavate Thick Layer of Sunflower Seeds on Car Floor

August 29, 2016 Andrew

WARMAN, SK More than twenty years of knackzoat accumulation, amounting to over three hundred kilos, has been excavated from the car floor of local couple Barney and Ethel Kehler of Warman. The Kehlers have been knacking zoat onto […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 6 7
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Family Still Waiting in Line at Penner Foods Parcel Pick-up
    August 2, 2018
  • Abbotsford Woman Mortgages House to Pay for Taylor Swift Tickets
    November 5, 2023
  • Craft Beer Snob Ruins Church Men’s Fishing Weekend By Bringing Nothing But Really Bitter IPAs
    June 28, 2019
  • Group Proposes to Move Steinbach’s Summer Festival to the Very Coldest Day of the Year
    June 18, 2016
  • Pastor Invites Congregation to ‘Netflix and Chill’ Night at Local Church
    September 23, 2016

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved