The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

hockey

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

Unger Suspicion

“No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators

November 9, 2022 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Rumours have swirled for weeks that Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds is attempting to buy up all the Ottawa senators, but at least one member of the upper house objects to the plan. “I’m […]

Unger Games

Toronto Couple Sells Small Empty Lot to Buy 40% Stake in the Maple Leafs

September 23, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Toronto school teachers, Pamela and Andrew Doerksen, have just sold a small empty Danforth lot for $990 million and used the money to buy, like, 40% of the Toronto Maple Leafs. “I had […]

Unger Suspicion

Man in Cheetos-Stained Boxer Shorts Appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets

September 17, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Big news in the hockey world this week as local mom’s basement-dweller Al Kroeker, 38, of Winnipeg has just been appointed Captain of the Winnipeg Jets for the upcoming season. “It looks like […]

The Daily Bonnet

NHL Teams Clamour to Sign Any Toews They Can

July 2, 2022 Andrew

DENVER, CO After the Stanley Cup successes of Jonathan Toews and Devon Toews (no relation), NHL squads are now looking to sign any and every Toews they can get their hands on. “Get a Toews […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 10 11 12 … 29 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Morden and Winkler Tired of Having to Share a Hospital
    September 16, 2019
  • Mennonites Celebrate 420 by Drinking Yerba on Parliament Hill
    April 20, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Brings Shame to the Entire Friesen Clan by Clapping Between Movements
    May 19, 2023
  • Mennonite Woman Spends All Day Making Coleslaw No One Will Eat
    March 29, 2021
  • The Daily Bonnet is Running for Mayor of Steinbach: Here’s My Platform!
    May 16, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved