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Unger Conviction

Church Affiliation to be Included on New Steinbach Election Ballots

October 27, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB In an effort to reduce lineups and assist the voting process, a local group is petitioning Steinbach to include each candidate’s church affiliation on all future ballots. “It’s the most important information there […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Has Suspenders Confiscated at Quebec Border

October 15, 2018 Andrew

GATINEAU, QC Johan Brubacher hitched up the wagon this week, eager to take his family to Montreal, a city renowned for Mennonite specialties like poutine and craft beer. However, as soon as the buggy crossed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Breaking News! No Abes Running for Steinbach City Council this Term!

September 30, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It’s the most shocking revelation of the 2018 campaign season: for the first time in Steinbach history, the list of city council candidates is completely Abe-less. Instead the list of candidates includes an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Village Gets Downgraded to Darp Status

September 25, 2018 Andrew

PLAUTFELD, MB After losing it’s only remaining residents under the age of the sixty, the tiny Mennonite village of Plautfeld has officially been downgraded to darp. According to Manitoba government classifications the term “darp” is […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Politician Splits from Conservatives to Form the Tupperware Party

August 23, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON It seems Maxine Bernier is not the only one leaving the Conservative Party to form one of his own. Mennonite MP Cassandra Petkau of the Neuhochenfeld Riding has become disgruntled and is seeking […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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