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fashion

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Wearing Socks with Sandals

September 13, 2017 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON Disregarding centuries of Mennonite tradition, the small Anabaptist town of St. Jacobs, Ontario just passed a law banning the wearing of socks with sandals. The new legislation sent shockwaves across the Mennonite […]

Unger Conviction

Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt

July 12, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local worship pastor Drake Warkentin-Blatz, 25, was fired this past week after disregarding a set of recommendations regarding his attire, which included refraining from ever wearing a V-neck T-shirt in church again. Warkentin-Blatz […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmas Awarded $3 Billion in Man Bun Lawsuit

April 22, 2017 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC After an exhausting three-month class action lawsuit, a BC patent court has ruled in favour of Mennonite Grandmas over the use of the man bun. The court awarded the Grandmas $3.2 billion in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winter Fashion Forecast: Long Johns All the Rage This Year

December 18, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Fashion industry insiders are predicting a surge in the sale of long underwear this winter. There was a time when this garment, “long johns” as they are sometimes called by Canadians and/or Mennonites, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rumours Fly as Young Woman Gets a Haircut

October 28, 2016 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB The rumour mill was running in full force this weekend after local woman Marilynne Klassen, 32, went to one of those weltlijch city hairdressers and came back with the “shortest haircut we’ve ever […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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