Worship Pastor Fired for Plunging V-Neck Shirt


Local worship pastor Drake Warkentin-Blatz, 25, was fired this past week after disregarding a set of recommendations regarding his attire, which included refraining from ever wearing a V-neck T-shirt in church again. Warkentin-Blatz was hauled off the stage by a group of angry elders in the middle of a stunning performance of Chris Tomlin’s ‘Good Good Father.’

“Standards of dress certainly have slipped in this church, but there’s one thing we absolutely will not tolerate and that is V-neck T-shirts!” exclaimed a visibly angry elder Herman Plett. “Sharp angles like that do not belong in the House of God.”

Warkentin-Blatz has sported a wide-variety of fashion trends over the years, but the V-neck was just one step too far.

“When I’m worshiping the Lord, I don’t want to be distracted by the sight of the worship pastor’s chest hair,” said Plett. “There’s more than enough distraction from the strobe lights and smoke machine.”

Warkentin-Blatz is currently seeking employment at other area megachurches.

“I’m not going to let them beat me,” said Warkentin-Blatz. “The Bible says nothing about V-neck T-shirts, unless it’s in the Aprocrypha somewhere, I don’t know.”

Warkentin-Blatz was replaced with a properly-attired old man in a suit who flailed his arms around in a feeble attempt to conduct the worship band.

(photo credit: Jesus Gorriti/CC)

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