Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted


After a disgustingly quick exit from the NHL playoff, the Winnipeg Jets players are absolutely disgusted to discover their own coach was disgusted with their disgusting performance.

“I’m absolutely disgusted that he’d call out our disgusting display on the ice,” said a visibly disgusted Blake Wheeler. “You know we work really hard to get to this level of disgustingness and we don’t appreciate when our disgusting play is so quickly dismissed as disgusting.”

Some Jets players were so disgusted at having their disgustingness called out that they wondered whether the whole press conference may have just been a disgusting display of satire.

“Usually I’m only this disgusted when that Andrew Unger fellow writes one of his disgusting articles,” said Wheeler. “So I don’t know where Coach Bowness gets all this disgust, but I’m guessing he might have some help.”

Bowness was quick to come to his own defence.

“I’m disgusted they’d even suggest such a thing,” said Bowness. “Do I look like the sort of fellow who’d peddle in fake news? Disgusting!”

The Jets have vowed to play less disgustingly next year, although they make no guarantees some folks won’t still be at least a little disgusted.

(photo credit: mark6mauno/CC)

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