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fashion

Unger Suspicion

Reitmans Introduces New ‘Angine de Poitrine’ Line

August 9, 2026 Andrew

MONTREAL, QUEBEC In an effort to appeal to a younger hipper audience, Canadian clothing retailer Reitmans has recently introduced a new Angine de Poitrine line of polka-dotted blouses and skirts. “I never knew Reitmans was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adidas Introduces New Mennonite Line

August 18, 2025 Andrew

HERZOGENAUROCH, GERMANY German athletic wear company Adidas has finally responded to the growing population of Aussiedler Mennonites in the country with the introduction of a new line of long denim skirts. “You can’t really play […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Denied Entry to Folk Festival for Failing to Wear Blundstones

July 13, 2025 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Samantha Kroeker, 38, was really looking forward to seeing Mavis Staples at Folk Fest this evening, but had to go back to Altona with her tail between her legs after she […]

Unger the Influence

TSA Will No Longer Require Mennonites to Remove Socks and Sandals

July 10, 2025 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It’s the boldest change to airport security requirements in more than twenty years–starting this weekend, Mennonites will no longer be required to remove their socks and sandals when passing through airport security. “That […]

Unger Suspicion

Perfumer Releases New ‘Urine and Weed’ Scent in Tribute to New York City

October 15, 2024 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY One of the nation’s top perfumers has just released a new scent, aptly called New York City, which is believed to be the first perfume to emulate the unmistakable musk of the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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