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farming

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Poses Topless on the Cover of ‘Manitoba Hog Farmers Weekly’

July 29, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Days after becoming the first Canadian Prime Minister to make the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, Justin Trudeau appeared with his shirt off on cover of Manitoba Hog Farmers Weekly. “I thought I […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Kleefeld Residents to Spend the Next Six Months Picking Rocks

May 29, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Now that winter is officially over, residents of Kleefeld, Manitoba are back in their fields picking rocks in full force, an activity that is expected to last until the snow flies again this […]

Uncategorized

Nordstrom Sells $600 ‘Authentic Mennonite-Worn’ Dirty Jeans

April 27, 2017 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Mennonite hog farmers across North America are ecstatic at the new opportunity to sell their old dirty sweaty jeans at a huge profit to Nordstrom. “I don’t know why those English want our […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Excommunicated for Switching to John Deere

March 27, 2017 Andrew

WARMAN, SK Local flax grower, Dwight Schultz, was excommunicated from the MEMC Church this past Sunday after he refused to submit to church authority and replace his John Deere tractor with a Massey Ferguson. “We […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Fondly Reminisce About the Olden Days When Chicken Meat Actually Contained Chicken

March 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After DNA testing recently revealed that the chicken at numerous popular fast food establishments had “only trace amounts of chicken meat,” Mennonites across North America fondly recalled the days when eating chicken meant you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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