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farming

Unger Suspicion

Selfie-Taking City Woman Eaten By Giant Mutant Venus Sunflower Plant

August 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB This summer thousands of city people have been flocking to the countryside to trample on farmer’s fields and take their stupid selfies with sunflower plants. Now it seems, the plants are beginning to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Hipsters Pay Big Bucks to Milk Cows

December 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Always seeking “authentic old school” experiences, the hipster population of Winnipeg is now venturing outside the Perimeter to milk cows in rural Manitoba. Mennonite farmers in the region have been eager to capitalize […]

The Daily Bonnet

Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe

November 27, 2017 Andrew

THALBACH, MEXICO Mr. Peter and Aganetha Krahn of Swift Current Colony, Mexico are pleased to announce the engagement of their 18-year-old Malkmäakjskhe Susan to local Schekjbenjel Harry Wall of nearby Manitoba Colony. The wedding is to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Guide to Mennonite Dress Codes

November 1, 2017 Andrew

Oba, my name is Reverend Abram Lepp of the Halbstadt colony over by near Muntau and Hierschau. You know the place. I think we’re prob’ly second cousins on the Loewen side. Anyway, I’ve been seein’ just vay […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of Mennonite Job Interview Questions (and How to Answer Them)

October 20, 2017 Andrew

It’s a competitive job market out there and you’ve got to be prepared. Thankfully, the Daily Bonnet is here to help. We’ve created a list of the most common questions asked by Mennonite bosses during […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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