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farming

Unger & Thirst

Hipsters Flock to Rural Manitoba to Take Selfies with Knackzoat

August 8, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After being warned to stay away from the sunflower plants, thousands of Winnipeg hipsters have descended upon corner stores and gas stations across southern Manitoba to have their pictures taken next to bags […]

Unger Suspicion

Selfie-Taking City Woman Eaten By Giant Mutant Venus Sunflower Plant

August 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB This summer thousands of city people have been flocking to the countryside to trample on farmer’s fields and take their stupid selfies with sunflower plants. Now it seems, the plants are beginning to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Hipsters Pay Big Bucks to Milk Cows

December 1, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Always seeking “authentic old school” experiences, the hipster population of Winnipeg is now venturing outside the Perimeter to milk cows in rural Manitoba. Mennonite farmers in the region have been eager to capitalize […]

The Daily Bonnet

Schekjbenjel to Marry Malkmäakjskhe

November 27, 2017 Andrew

THALBACH, MEXICO Mr. Peter and Aganetha Krahn of Swift Current Colony, Mexico are pleased to announce the engagement of their 18-year-old Malkmäakjskhe Susan to local Schekjbenjel Harry Wall of nearby Manitoba Colony. The wedding is to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Guide to Mennonite Dress Codes

November 1, 2017 Andrew

Oba, my name is Reverend Abram Lepp of the Halbstadt colony over by near Muntau and Hierschau. You know the place. I think we’re prob’ly second cousins on the Loewen side. Anyway, I’ve been seein’ just vay […]

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