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farming

The Daily Bonnet

Meet Jessica, Winkler Area’s First Newborn Calf of 2017

January 5, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A Winkler family welcomed the local area’s first calf of 2017, born just after midnight last night. Little Jessica the cow was born at 12:08 am at the local Animal Hospital. She is the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Completely Exhausted With Politics, Mennonites Return to Their Farms

November 9, 2016 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN After a totally exhausting Presidential election campaign, millions of Mennonites across America are returning to their farms, claiming they are “done with politics, like, forever.” “I’m plum tuckered out,” said Henry Willems, shovelling cow […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Lady Accused of Hoarding Prized Hutterite Chickens

October 30, 2016 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local home cook Mrs. Margaret Martens of Linden arrived early in the morning the day after butchering day to buy up as many chickens as she could from the area Hutterite colony. Martens […]

The Daily Bonnet

Former Resident Longs to Smell Steinbach Feed Mill One More Time

September 26, 2016 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Retired school bus driver Vern L. Toews enjoys his new life in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, but says there are a few things about living in Steinbach that he misses. On the top of […]

Unger & Thirst

Altona Has Record Dandelion Wine Harvest This Year

May 25, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Wine lovers in southern Manitoba are optimistic about this year’s dandelion crop. Neil Plett, longtime sommelier at Oma’s Basement Bun Shop in Altona, believes Harvest 2016 will be one of the best in decades. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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