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farmer sausage

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Couple Forgets to Bring “the Good Farmer Sausage” on Trip to Alberta

August 28, 2019 Andrew

TABER, AB The Doerksens of Altona disappointed a whole community of Alberta Mennonites this week after completely forgetting to bring the “good farmer sausage” with them on a recent trip. “We were in such a […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Woman Gains Ten Pounds Just By Looking at Mennonite Food

August 21, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Local woman Patricia Redekop found herself a little heavier this afternoon after merely glancing at the Tupperware container of leftovers that Mrs. Kornelsen brought to work. “There were eight cottage cheese perogies and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Becomes ‘Completely Hooked’ on the Pink Stuff

August 12, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mr. Bergman of Blumenhof has been undergoing intensive counseling with the pastor this week after it was discovered he had an unhealthy obsession with the pink stuff on formavorscht ever since he discovered […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Farmer Sausage Recipe Calls for 30 to 50 Feral Hogs

August 7, 2019 Andrew

A recently uncovered recipe for traditional Mennonite farmer sausage calls for “30 to 50 feral hogs.” The document, translated from Plautdietsch, and found jammed into a hymn book at the local Bergthaler church, is believed […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonites Eager to Try New ‘Beyond Formavorscht’ Burger

June 21, 2019 Andrew

SCHTEINBACK, MB Eager to capitalize on the popular fake meat trend, local farmer sausage makers have come up with an enticing new product called ‘Beyond Formavorscht’, which, apparently tastes just like the real thing yet! […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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