Local Woman Gains Ten Pounds Just By Looking at Mennonite Food


Local woman Patricia Redekop found herself a little heavier this afternoon after merely glancing at the Tupperware container of leftovers that Mrs. Kornelsen brought to work.

“There were eight cottage cheese perogies and a huge chunk of farmer sausage all wedged in there,” said Redekop. “I think I gained ten pounds just by looking at it…literally.”

In order to test her theory, Redekop immediately rushed to the washroom where a scale is conveniently kept for just this purpose.

“OMG. I did gain ten pounds!” exclaimed Redekop. “Gosh, I can’t even look at that stuff without putting on weight!”

Mrs. Kornelsen apologized to Mrs. Redekop, but vows to keep on eating her delicious Mennonite food.

“Heck, if you’re gonna gain weight anyway, you might as well eat it,” said Kornelsen. “There’s no point in just staring at it.”

After the week was over, Mrs. Kornelsen had maintained her weight, while Mrs. Redekop who ate nothing but carrots every lunch and just gazed lustfully at Mrs. Kornelsen’s lunch had ballooned by fifty pounds.

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