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The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Dick Hospitalized After Searching for Images of Relatives Online

October 22, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Oma Dick just received something called an iPad from her grandchildren and was told she could search for absolutely anything on it. Naturally, the first thing the 92-year-old Mennonite grandma did was search […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Uncle Barred from Thanksgiving Gathering after Forgetting His ID and Vax Card

October 10, 2021 Andrew

ROSENHIMMEL, SK Oncle Thomas was turned away at the biannual Peters Thanksgiving gathering in Rosenhimmel this week after he conveniently “forgot” his proof of vaccination. “Oba, I think I left it at home somewhere,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Discovers Where Babies Come from Just a Little Too Late

October 1, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Newlyweds Anne and Peter Krahn of the La Crete area quickly discovered where babies come from after a weekend at the Days Inn and a half bottle of Crown Royal. “Oba, so […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Father Tortures Family By Taking a Ride to the Country to Look at the Crops

August 16, 2021 Andrew

REGINA, SK Mr. Earl Fehr of Regina loaded up the minivan and took the family on a six-hour long drive through the countryside to look at some fields this weekend. “Hey, look, kids! Bales!” yelled […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Looking Forward to Delightful Illegal Gathering this Easter

April 1, 2021 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB Plans are already in the works for a delightfully illegal Easter this year. The Hiebert family of Schratjlijch, Manitoba, for example, have been dutifully shopping, cooking, and otherwise preparing for their first illegal […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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