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Unger & Thirst

Penner Family Celebrates Cousin Peter’s Graduation from the Kid’s Table

May 4, 2018 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB The Penner family of Kleefeld are proud to announce that Cousin Peter, who had, for many decades, been considered too immature to sit with the adults has been graduated to the adult table […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Homeschoolers Add Crokinole to their Core Curriculum

April 25, 2018 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Homeschool parents Edna and Harold Klassen of Swift Current are committed to providing their children with the highest level of education possible. Recently, the Klassens decided to cut back on math and […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son By Far the Worst Behaved Kid in Sunday School

January 18, 2018 Andrew

FREDRICTON, NB Reverend Unrau was called out of the adult Prayer Class yet again this Sunday after his son Timothy socked two other boys in the nose and called little Lisa Wilson a “Poopyface.” It […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lit Match Insufficient After Dad’s Been in There

January 17, 2018 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Sawatzky family of Edmonton has discovered the hard way that a single lit match is wholly insufficient to mask the mysterious odour that often emanates from the bathroom after Dad’s been in […]

Unger Suspicion

British Columbian Freezes to Death Within Minutes of Arriving in Winnipeg

January 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Mark Thiessen of Chilliwack froze to death after walking a hundred metres from the airport terminal to his rental car this weekend. Police found his frozen corpse, with his debit card in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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