‘Holy Kiss’ in Mennonite Church Lobby Becomes Total Make-out Session


When Ms. Fehr greeted Mr. Martens with a holy kiss in the church lobby this past Sunday, the two discovered they had a spark and began to totally make-out beneath the coat rack.

“This is the last time I encourage the congregation to greet each other with a kiss,” said Pastor Dave. “It’s just going to cause way too many shot-gun weddings.”

The practice of the holy kiss has gone on in Mennonite circles for centuries, but this new version is a little disturbing.

“It used to be that the men would get a quick peck after the foot-washing service, but now things are out of control,” said Pastor Dave. “It’s like Peyton Place in here!”

Pastor Dave is not sure what to do, but plans to preach a six-part sermon on what exactly constitutes ‘holy kissing.’

“I can assure you that the make-out sessions that are now a routine part of our Sunday morning service do not qualify,” said Pastor Dave. “They have to end and end quick, or else we’re going to star attracting the wrong kind of people.”

Ms. Fehr and Mr. Martens reportedly greeted each other with a holy kiss throughout the afternoon and into the evening.

Molson Drinkers Really Excited About Canada Food Guide's Recommendation to Drink More Water
Mennonite Woman Reluctantly Keeps Tacky Jesus Souvenir For Thirty Years