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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Ruled ‘Too Old’ to be Cruising Main Street

July 10, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A middle-aged Winkler man was fined on Friday for being ‘forty years too old to be cruising up and down Main Street all evening.’ Lyle Dueck, 65, was caught doing laps with the younger […]

Unger & Thirst

Farmer Sausage-Scented Air Fresheners a Big Hit in Mennonite Country

June 7, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A new formavorscht-scented car air freshener has been flying off the shelves at Altona gas stations this past week, with Mennonites throughout the region eager to have their truck cabs smell of smoked meat. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Drivers Voted the ‘Best in the Country’

June 5, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For years, visitors and locals alike have commented with great enthusiasm about the superlative driving skills of Steinbach residents. This reputation was solidified on Monday after the National Automobile Association awarded Steinbach Top Prize […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Couple Not Nearly as Rich as Huge Wad of Canadian Tire Money Suggests

May 27, 2017 Andrew

REGINA, SK Over the years, local couple Bert and Paula Siemens have accumulated a large stash of Canadian Tire money. However, when the couple went to their local Canadian Tire store to spend it, they quickly […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Drive the Entire Trans-Canada Highway in the Left Lane

May 10, 2017 Andrew

HALIFAX, NS Mennonite man Paul Warkentin is about to embark on a cross-country journey in his ’03 Malibu to raise awareness about safe and courteous driving. The entire trip, which begins in Halifax on Monday, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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