Winnipeg to Install Massive New “Gateway Arch” to Compete with St. Louis


Tired of being an afterthought when it comes to the title of Gateway to the West, the Canadian city of Winnipeg has decided to erect a massive Gateway Arch of their own.

“St. Louis? Gateway to the West? I don’t think so. Try gateway to some farmers fields in Kansas or whatever,” said Winnipeg Mayor Scott Gillingham. “If you really want a Gateway to the West, you better be leading people to the vast open prairies. Not that we really want anyone heading to Saskatchewan.”

The new arch will also clear up any debates during local pub trivia nights.

“They asked us some pretty tough questions. Like what city is known as the Motor City,” said local trivia enthusiast Jeremy Goerzen, “so naturally I said Steinbach. When they asked for The City of Lights, my friend Kevin Fuchs over here, said it had to be Winkler. We was utterly mesmerized by the lights last time he visited.”

Hockey fans will be given free admission to the top of the arch if they show their ticket stubs anytime the Winnipeg Jets beat the St. Louis Blues. The arch is set to cost about 2.1 billion Canadian dollars, or about $29.95 American.

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