Documentary Filmmaker Subsists on Nothing But Faspa For an Entire Month

HERBERT, SK

Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, famous for eating nothing but McDonalds for an entire month in the film Super Size Me, has taken his stunt-eating to a new level with his recent film Super Faspa Me, which has just completed production in the small Mennonite town of Herbert, Saskatchewan.

“With Super Size Me, I demonstrated what everyone already knew,” explains Spurlock, “that eating McNuggets and Big Macs all day every day will have adverse effects on one’s health. But now I’ve been throwing back cubed cheese, dill pickles, raisin buns and rolled up ham slices for an entire month. It almost killed me, quite frankly.”

The new film documents Spurlock’s journey from a svelte 185 pounds to well over 275 in just thirty days of consuming faspa for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Numerous doctors warn Spurlock against the dangers of too much faspa, but the stubborn filmmaker persists despite the health warnings.

“My cholesterol was through the roof,” said Spurlock. “As it turns out, cold cuts and pickles are way worse for you than Egg McMuffins and Quarter-Pounders ever could be.”

Critics say the film is unlikely to have any effect on the eating habits of Mennonites, but the faspa industry has pre-emptively responded to the film anyway.

“We believe Mr. Spurlock’s new film is nothing more than an attempt to defame and discredit the hard work of faspa-makers across North America,” said the Saskatchewan Society for the Promotion of Faspa. “We do not rule out the possibility that the film is part of an agenda to make Mennonite women work on Sunday afternoons, and we find these efforts as transparent and repulsive as the film itself.”

Spurlock laughed off the criticism and said he hoped Mennonites and non-Mennonites alike would find hope and solace in the new movie.

“Man cannot subsist on faspa alone,” added Spurlock. “Sometimes you need to supplement it with pistachio salad.”

(Photo Credit: by evhead/CC)

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