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cars

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Buys Fancy New Car to Drive on World’s Shittiest Roads

October 21, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Dave Peters parlayed 40-years of chicken catching money into a sweet new sports car this week, but quickly realized there wasn’t a single decent road in the entire city he could […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

Unger Suspicion

Summer Festival Offers Steinbachers an Entire Weekend without Obnoxious Street Racers

June 17, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Every year, the City of Steinbach shuts down Main Street for a festival known as Summer in the City, which features food trucks, multi-cultural events, live music, and a carnival, but for many […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Can’t Decide Between Shitty Old Truck and Obnoxious Honda Civic

June 16, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Peter Wiens, 19, is in the market for a new ride and has narrowed down the selection to a rusty old Ford truck or a Honda Civic with a stupid spoiler […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ferrari Bans Mennonite Man from Buying Any More Cars

June 15, 2022 Andrew

MARANELLO, IT Prestigious Italian automaker Ferrari has banned Kjnels Wiebe of Taber, Alberta from buying any more cars after he “totally wrecked the aesthetic of the whole thing.” “You should see the spoiler he put […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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