Nickelback Frontman Insists He’s Really a Kroeker

HANNA, AB

Lead singer of beloved Canadian rockers Nickelback has come out this week and said he’s actually much more of a Mennonite than we ever suspected.

Mench ek saj! You’ve been pronouncing and spelling my name wrong the whole time,” said Chad. “It’s Kroeker not Kroeger, got it? And that OE makes an “ay” sound. Diewel, these Englishers don’t know how to say a good solid Mennonite surname.”

While Kroeger is actually a Menno surname, too, the Nickelback frontman said he didn’t want to detract any attention from the world famous Kroeger Clocks.

“Those clocks needs all the publicity they can get,” said Chad. “So just call me Kroeker, okay?”

In order to further solidify his credibility in the Mennonite community, the band will finally live up to its name and offer a refund of 5 cents to everyone who buys a ticket to their next concert.

“It’s the biggest discount ever offered by a Kroeker,” said Chad. “Or even a Kroeger for that matter.”

Tickets to their new tour, with a 5 cent discount, go on sale this week at your local MCC store.

(photo credit:oxfamnovib/CC)

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