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frugality

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach Stymied by Globe and Mail Paywall

March 12, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Moments after learning the city had made national news yet again, thousands of Steinbachers clamoured to find out what was said about them. “Ugh. Paywall. Typical,” said Mrs. Plett, who was attempting to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Starts GoFundMe to Pay for Tips at Chicken Chef

January 31, 2023 Andrew

SCHTAINBACK, MB Area man Timothy Thiessen, 37, has just launched a new GoFundMe campaign to help pay for the more than $75,000 he owes to the serving staff at local restaurants. “I’ve haven’t tipped since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Twitter Users Stock Up on Gently Used Blue Checkmarks at MCC Thrift Stores

November 10, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON It was the biggest bag sale Aylmer has ever seen as volunteers worked through the night to stock the shelves with all the discarded blue checkmarks they’ve been getting since Elon Musk took […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already

October 31, 2022 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Angie Neufeld, 38, was all out of candy at 5:30 PM this evening and has shut off her lights and gone to bed. “Sorry, kids, better try next door at the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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