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Unger the Influence

In Resurfaced Music Video, Danielle Smith Calls 75% of Albertans “Crazy Mennonites Living in an Amish Paradise”

May 10, 2023 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In a recently resurfaced music video from the mid-90s, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith was caught on camera saying that “75% of Albertans are all crazy Mennonites living in an Amish paradise.” “Hitchin’ up […]

Unger Suspicion

Alberta Premier Calls Shirtless Dude at 7-11 “Most Persecuted Man in All of Human History”

October 13, 2022 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Local man Darryl Klassen of Edmonton, who was kicked out of a local 7-11 store this week for wearing nothing but a pair of gym shorts and a mullet, has been called “the […]

Unger Suspicion

Nickelback Frontman Insists He’s Really a Kroeker

September 27, 2022 Andrew

HANNA, AB Lead singer of beloved Canadian rockers Nickelback has come out this week and said he’s actually much more of a Mennonite than we ever suspected. “Mench ek saj! You’ve been pronouncing and spelling […]

The Daily Bonnet

Yes, ‘Skinny Dyck’ of Lethbridge is Real and, No, the Daily Bonnet Didn’t Just Make Him Up

September 20, 2022 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Unlike a number of made-up musicians in Daily Bonnet history such as the Goertzen Family singers or, say, the great Mennonite hip-hop artist Corny Reimer, up-and-coming alt-country artist Skinny Dyck of Lethbridge is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Makes Millions Selling Chicken Coops to Calgary Yuppies

September 11, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Abe Koop of Linden, Alberta has capitalized on a strange new trend among Calgary yuppies: backyard chicken coops. Since the trend of raising your owns chickens caught on in Calgary, like, three weeks […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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