Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”


Jack Rempel of La Crete, Alberta has just launched a new “streeeming servass for Mannanites yet.”

“Since it’s a Mannanite thing and we don’t use the Internets, we’ll be bringing records and 8-tracks right to your house,” said Rempel. “We’re going to be getting old scratched up LPs from the MCC store and we’ll be streaming them over right to your house in La Crete or Leamington or even Cuauhtémoc.”

Rempel has hired more than 100 shekjbenjels to deliver a steady stream of LPs to Mennonite households.

“We’ll even flip the record for you,” said Rempel. “Just sit back, relax, and let our experienced team of skekjbenjels service you.”

True to its name, all records provided by Schputify will be by Weird Al Yankovic.

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