Mennonites React to Gin Recall

After a nationwide recall that pulled thousands of bottles of gin off Canadian shelves for being too boozy, Mennonite closet-drinkers were left without their beloved Bombay Sapphire. Here are a few of their reactions.

  • “As soon as I heard the gin was twice as boozy as it’s supposed to be, I headed straight to the liquor store to buy a whole case. You just can’t pass up a bargain like that.” – Martha B., 71, Kitchener, ON
  • “Gin? What’s gin? I’m more of a dandelion wine drinker myself.” – Abe F., 82, Plum Coulee, MB
  • “77% alcohol? Ach, that’s nothing. You should try my cousin Harry’s moonshine.” – Sarah K., 43, Clearbook, BC
  • “For years I thought that fancy blue bottle in Taunte Lina’s dresser was some kind of department store perfume she bought in the Eaton’s catalogue. I guess I was wrong.” – Clarence U., 91, Warman, SK
  • “As a staunch libertarian, I wish the government would stop sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong. I sure ain’t returning my bottles that’s for sure!” – Brian L, 50, Altona, MB
  • “It’s a miracle! If the Lord can turn water into wine, I’m sure he is more than able to turn gin into extra-strong gin.” – Leanne D., 23, Linden, AB
Which Steinbach Church Has the Best Coffee?
New Regulations Force Female Crokinole Players to Wear Short Skirts