Mennonite Publisher Releases Extra-Wide Bibles to Keep the Boys and Girls Farther Apart


The Mennonite Bible Society of Indiana is excited to announce brand new extra-thick Bibles intended to provide extra distance between the boys and girls at summer camp, Sunday School, and other church functions.

“The width of the Bible has always been our measuring tool,” said Mr. Yoder, “but we’ve been noticing a pattern of thinner and thinner Bibles out there. I don’t know what they’re leaving out, but it’s sure making things difficult to manage at our campfire singalongs.”

‘Yoder’s Extra-Wide,’ as the new Bibles are called, are a full ten inches thick and have been padded out with Mr. Yoder’s detailed commentary below each verse, not that he’s expecting anyone to actually read it.

“These Bibles are strictly for measurement purposes,” said Mr. Yoder. “In fact I recommend wedging two or three of them in between the kids if things really get out of hand.”

Yoder says the Bibles can also be used to make sure hemlines are an adequate distance below the knees.

“I’m confident these are the most versatile Bibles ever published,” said Yoder. “You don’t even have to crack them open and you’ll be radically transformed.”

‘Yoder’s Extra-Wide’ Bibles are in stores now, just in time for the last two weeks of Vacation Bible School.

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