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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Super Excited to Eat These Noah’s Ark Cookies

June 9, 2026 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Benny Goertzen saw these delicious Noah’s Ark cookies at a local bake sale this month and immediately had to try them. “Love the colours. Love the rainbows. These look absolutely delicious,” […]

Unger the Influence

Alberta Introduces New “School-Appropriate” Bibles Without ‘Song of Solomon’

July 11, 2025 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be […]

Unger Conviction

Area Man Supports “Biblical Marriage” By Obtaining 700 Wives and 300 Concubines

June 11, 2025 Andrew

AUGUSTA, GA Staunch “Biblical literalist” Dave Wright, 61, has finally accomplished his goal of living out the model of marriage as clearly established in the Bible. “I’ve been collecting wives over the past few years […]

The Daily Bonnet

Area Woman Accidentally Posts Something Positive and Uplifting on Social Media

May 19, 2025 Andrew

TABER, AB After months of non-stop angry political posts, Mrs. Goertzen of Taber accidentally shared an inspirational scripture verse on Facebook this morning. “Oba, how did Philippians 4:6-7 get in there!” yelled Mrs. Goertzen. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Kids Forced to Recite Poem in Order to Get Christmas Present

December 17, 2024 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Young Steven Froese of Rosetown found himself without a poem or Bible verse to share at the gathering this Christmas, which resulted in the six-year-old going home completely empty handed. “Ugh, I guess […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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