KITCHENER, ON
When the Baumans purchased a lovely bungalow in Kitchener in 1973, Ernie promised Lois that he’d have the bathroom renovated by their 50th wedding anniversary. Well, it seems Mr. Bauman is a full year ahead of schedule and, thus, has smashed the record for the fastest-ever bathroom renovation by a Mennonite man.
“Happy 49th anniversary, honey,” said Mr. Bauman, taking off his wife’s blindfold to reveal the completed bathroom. “I hope you’ll appreciate the five decades of blood, sweat, and tears that I’ve put into this project.”
Ernie slapped on the final coat of paint this weekend, and Lois was super excited to finally be able to pluck her eyebrows without stepping over a trowel and a bucket of grout.
“My Ernie is quite the DIYer,” said Lois. “I’m so happy he was able to get this project done so quickly. I’m impressed. All my girlfriends are still waiting for their husbands to get their bathroom renos done.”
The renovation materials, all purchased in the 70s, may look a little dated, but Lois is not concerned.
“I’ve even gathered up a few old Eatons catalogues to match the decor,” said Lois. “I know my Ernie just loves to shop for Fortrel pants while he’s on the can.”
Ernie will now commence working on the kitchen renovation, which he promises to have done by time his great-great-great-grandchildren are born.
